No one who writes a blog is perfect, just as no one’s life is perfect – though they often appear this way. In fact, if you peruse many of the most popular site’s FAQ’s they usually have this disclaimer: My life is not perfect, and I don’t want you to think that it is. And I love perfect blogs – heck I try to write one myself (there’s no such thing, but it’s good to aspire). The problem I have is when perfect blogs make you feel bad.
Whether we like it or not, we are always comparing ourselves to others. It’s a terrible habit, one that, as I’ve gotten older, has luckily been easier to overcome. With each snag on the branch of comparison, my armor gets better at ignoring it, until I’ve reached the point where I am now. I thrive to be the best version of myself, not a version of someone else, so I find it helpful to look inward, rather than out. But sometimes it’s not always possible when you’re bombarded with images of perfection and happiness coming from people you feel you’ve grown close to on the internet.
I love to read blogs. Seriously. Give me enough time, and I could read blogs all day. These women work hard, write well, and have so much to offer. So where does the bad come in for me, you ask? Well, some of it comes from obligation. One day, a few weeks back I was catching up on a few favorite blogs which all happened to have recipes and DIYs. It’s fun to read a recipe now and again, but unless I’m having an event or looking for a new dish, I don’t often try all the things that people suggest. However, each time I read one of those posts, I feel like I’m supposed to make that dish. It’s sold as nutritious, delicious, best-thing-you’ve-ever-eaten kind of food, and I think that’s awesome. But I’m responding to the sale of it to me. It makes me feel bad. Like I’m not doing my homework or something.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that sometimes I feel like there’s an obligation when reading a blog. A sort of guilt that develops from all the suggestions, all the recommendations that you haven’t done or taken. That tally or scorecard just feels terrible. It’s tough because I know that is not usually the intention of the writer, and if it is, I stop reading. I’m not someone who enjoys a frenemy blog relationship, nor being witness to a constant stream of humblebrags, or sales pitches. These things seem ever more present these days online, and so I find myself ditching and dodging where it suits me.
An article titled, “20 Things You Should Do Every Morning,” is a key example of the guilt mechanism I’m talking about. While I like reading things like “What Successful People Do In Their Downtime,” I always take these tips with a grain of salt. But it can be hard. The title feeds on the fear of inadequacy without you entirely being aware that this is what you’re being sold.
She’s So Bright is a blog that I never want anyone to feel bad about reading. I want it to be a fun, inspiring place of exciting topics, beautiful images, and updates about my life. I’m perfectly imperfect, I don’t do even a fraction of DIY’s I come across, and my closet is an absolute disaster. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.
Do blogs ever make you feel bad? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below!