What I Struggle With the Most

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She's So Bright - What I Struggle With the Most

I love brainstorming. Give me an hour, and I’ll come up with as many colorful ideas as you give me minutes. Need a name? I’ll come up with a zillion. Need a concept for a photo shoot – I’m your gal. I enjoy exercising my creative muscles and am constantly inspired. I never run out of ideas, and in fact, that’s just my problem. I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I want to accomplish that I find myself always pulled in 8 different directions – not sure of which way I’d like to go.

Mainly, I struggle with the execution of an idea. Well, not so much the execution, because I work hard to do a good job. It’s more like executing on the idea itself, deciding to leap in and just do it. With all the things swimming in my mind, I have a hard time nailing one idea down and starting there. I don’t necessarily feel anxious about it, just open to considering all the possibilities, and that leaves me no further to reaching my goals and continuously frustrated by not pulling the trigger on an idea.

She's So Bright - What I Struggle With the Most

Ideas for posts, photoshoots, and art come to me often and in little flashes. When inspiration strikes, I grab the thoughts and write them down, as if catching a lightning bug in a jar. But I’ve caught so many at this point, that picking one out as the priority is just hard for me. I struggle to create those arbitrary edges and rules to my work, which keep me focused on one project at a time. The result is that I’m slow to finish all my ideas IF they even get made.

I’ll give you an example. I have several apartment DIYs I want to do, all of which matter a lot to me. My bathroom needs an update, I’d like to transform my makeup nook and restyle my desk. But I want to do all of those things, and they’re all equally important to me to have finished, but I just can’t seem to choose one over the others to start with first.

It’s sound so silly writing it down, but for me, it’s a real problem. I think I doubt my ability to problem solve my way to the solution, or that I’m choosing the right thing first. It’s also like I need to let the idea brew for a while, to make sure it’s really worth my time or interest. I deeply admire people who can just decide to do something and execute it, even on the same day. My husband is that way and immediately goes all in on whatever project or problem he needs to solve. There’s no hesitation, no trepidation, just forward march until the battle is won.

She's So Bright - What I Struggle With the Most

Of course, the good news is I’m getting better. My Wonder Woman project was a little bit like that for me at first, as I marinated with the idea for more than a month. But once I decided to do it, I did it – better than anything I had ever imagined! The result was that I felt more confident in my choices, and much more capable of trying new things I may not have known how to do at first. Most recently, taking on a variety of Super Bowl recipes I had never made before was another test at decision making and execution for me. The fact that I accomplished my goals, and in a manner I can be proud of, always leaves me feeling great. Each project I take on, each blog post I produce, helps me get a little closer to annihilating that pause.

While I’m still a long way off from killing this beast and it pains me to think about all the opportunities to create that I’ve missed, it feels better to just talk about it. Thanks for listening.

Do you struggle with decision making? What are your tips for settling on a project or idea? I’d love to hear some of your thoughts or advice below.

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